No sound of mail dropping onto the doormat. No carrier pigeon beating his wings against my apartment window bearing joyful messages of love. Not even a flippin e-card. Nothing. Zilch.

I had begun to think my admirers had forgotten about me. Not even Beckham (who I like to think of as my cheeky bit on the side) bothered to send me a card, not that I care though, I’m still waiting for his voice to drop and what with his recent fall from grace he’s no longer the catch I thought he was.

However, while I was bemoaning my lack of romantic appreciation and wondering how indeed the world could be so cruel (AGAIN), one of my students pointed out a cultural difference that put a smile on my face and stopped me from heading for the two litres of ice cream I keep in the freezer for ‘emergencies’ of this nature. It turns out that on Valentines Day in Korea it is the GIRL who buys presents for the guy!

What the?

I was thinking this was perhaps another example of Korean male chauvinism, the guy gets the presents, the girl gets to cook dinner and wash up, that kind of thing. However, I was wrong. Apparently my time will come next month on March 14th, which is known in Korea as ‘White Day’. On White Day guys return the favour and buy the girls the presents, normally candy and flowers.

Hallelujah! I was simply being insecure, of course my admirers hadn’t forgotten me! They’re just aware that I respect the cultural differences between Koreans and Westerners and, not wanting to look stupid, decided to wait until White Day to send me a gift. Phew, I can sleep easier now.

The story, however, doesn’t end there. While investigating my lack of gifts, (for obviously a trauma of this gravity requires seeerious investigation) I discovered that Korea has many ’special days’. Now whether these days can really constitute as special isn’t really for me to say however I do think the motivations for creating such days may have been a little dubious. In the UK we moan that Valentines day simply exists to line the pockets of retailers and to strike fear into the heart of the average British male who’s single brain cell malfunctions with all the stress and causes them to think a pink teddy from a card shop is an acceptable gift (it isn’t, and neither is a voucher from a high street shop that can buy nowt more than two pairs of tights..but let’s not get into that…)

In Korea they go that step further. Here goes..

*14th January- Diary Day- when you exchange diaries so that you can plan the year ahead. Obviously the Koreans must anticipate a major New Year hangover and therefore the first two weeks has them drunk, disorganised and diaryless.

*14th February- Valentines Day- guy gets pressies.

*14th March- White Day- girl gets pressies.

*14th April- Black Day- all single people moan about the fact they are single and eat black noodles called Jjajangmeon.

*14th May- Rose Day- another day that has florists rubbing their hands with glee.

*14th June- Kiss Day- you get to snog the face off your beloved today, however it isn’t prohibited on the other days of the year. Perhaps they have a special type of kiss for Kiss Day, the mind boggles…

*14th July- Silver Day- you exchange gifts of the silver variety.

*14th August- Green Day- modern life is stressful- get yourself to a place with greenery today.

*14th September- Music and Photos Day- couples take photos of each other or you gather all your friends in a nightclub and take photos.

*14th October- Wine Day- you gotta get yourself and your better half to a fancy restaurant and drink red wine today ( there needs to be a special day for that?!)

*14th November- Movie/Orange Day- go watch a movie with your boyfriend and then, erm, drink orange juice ?

* 14th December-Hug Day- because it’s cold in December we should all hug each other to keep warm. Think penguins.

Apparently the majority of Koreans don’t have a clue when these days actually are and it took one of my students to look on the internet for me to confirm, however it is strongly believed that the rampant consumerists who created these crazy days were targeting that most naive, gullible and impressionable of creatures, the high school girl.

So what did I do on Valentine’s? What any self respecting singleton should- went out for lunch with a girlfriend, ate to excess, increased my waist size by at least an inch and then went home and felt sick. A job well done - and I get to do it all again in a month on White Day!